What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

What do stupid fat ugly women always say to me? “I think you have a problem with women.”

A man walks out of a bar. Gets in his car and crashes because drunk driving isn't safe.

For Chuck Norris every street is one way his way.

whatdumb and gay stewart price

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? The bench can support a family.

How did the man eat 100 mints in one bite? I'm not sure myself, but we can agree on one thing, his breath is gonna fresh.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

WHY IS THIS SENTENCE CAPITALIZED? BECAUSE CAPS LOCK IS ON.

roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the house. knock knock. who's there? the chicken!

What has 2 legs, a heart and a conscience? YER MA

When my brother was hanging at YOUR cross, he asked "daddy" "Oh father why!" Then lightning struck and the weather went to fuck. Moral: WHAT KIND OF RESPONSE IS THAT YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

Why were 50 police officers in the supermarket? A tsunami had struck and they were cleaning out hundreds of bodies

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

What did the cannibal eat for Christmas. Your Mom!

Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

Why did Suzy have burns on her face? Because her little brother attacked her with a hot curling iron thinking it was a lightsaber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...