What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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How do you wake up lady gaga Set her alarm clock to an appropriate time

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I played the spoon game. In a white neighborhood.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Whats funny? Your face.

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If omar has 7 apples and his bus is 7 minutes early, what is the mass of the sun? Pi. Partially because the piece of paper couldnt dance with your mother.

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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What's worst then getting struck by lightening? your face.whats worse then seeing your face? NOTHING

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Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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how come the tadpoles dad told him he can't be a nurse? he has 2 b a frog!

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How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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how many dumbasses does it take to make a kushagra

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Why was Johnny sad? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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Why did Michael dye. Because he was dyslexic and a plain fell on his noggin.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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