A watermelon, a cherry, a mango, and a peanut are sitting at the table for dinner. They are all eating chicken wings and watching the superbowl between the Packers and the Patriots. What is wrong with the situation? Well two things are wrong, cherry's cannot communicate with peanuts because they speak different languages(obviously). And the patriots fucking suck.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

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A woman asked me today if I'd ever tried crazy golf. I hadn't actually ever tried it.... So I replied "no".

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what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

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What did the viking say to the alien? "Vad i namn av valhalla är en utlänning gör här?"

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If a tree falls on a woman and there is no one around to hear it, she was probably lonely.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree??? Because it was dead.....

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Why is the old lady crying? I threw a fridge at her.

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Playing hide and seek with Dennis Ferguson

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the chicken!

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Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

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Who found Anne Frank? The Nazis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops