A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Bill gates walked into a store and farted. It stunk up the entire place and the employees were mad. But it was their fault for not having windows.

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ever tried african food? they neither

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If the blue dog falls out of sample object, how many bananas does my mom eat? No, because markers can't talk

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A guy reads the bible Another guy shouts "spoiler alert, the main character dies"

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? Pizza does not scream when it goes in the oven.

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Your mama so fat That she suffers from heart disease

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Why did Lucy drop her ice-cream ? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who is there ? NOT LUCY !

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What do you call a black guy with a white guy name? Bradley

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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Three blind men walk into a bar, and, no... wait, sorry just one; so one blind man walked into a bar, and... uh, okay, so it was actually more of a small post. This is pretty much just a plausible, yet unfortunate event. My bad.

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it slipped from his hand.

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Q: What say one therapist to a friend? A: I'm the rapist

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? their friend.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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What is yellow and white and goes 150 miles down a railroad track? a duck.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Q: What did the little jewish boy get for his birthday in 1940? A: The holocaust.

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An indian boy asked his Dad,'Why do we have such long names?' His father didn't reply, he died on the road home.

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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