roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

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Why couldn't Jimmy run in the track race? Because he has been paralyzed since he was 3, due to a horrible accident

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven kind of looked like an alligator.

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Why does the same anti-jokes pop up over and over again? Because people have no creativity.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

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Why did the whale cross the road? He was being chased by the Japanese.

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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took my chevy to the levy but the levy was dry

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Yo mama so fat, that she's even bigger than the universe!

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i'm not random but cheese does get a bit purple if you leave it in your laptop then the battery dies and the sun expands and kills every dodo alive even though they're extinct but that not the point

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why was the black man running away from the convenient store? He was going for a jog and it just so happened that he passed by the store

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to drop it and die of gas poisoning.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

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Whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Communism hehe xd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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