Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "So why are you so happy?" The amputee doesn't answer because he has been completely deaf, blind and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What was the baker a coward? He didn't have the "Bunz" to prove it!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock! who's there? Jim Jim who? Jim Goldenbach

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo momma stank so bad, she might have a serious vaginal infection. You should take her to the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Reed read? A. Read?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did Michael Jackson retire from basketball? Michael Jackson never played basketball, but was nonetheless one of the most successful musicians to ever live.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

HOREY SHIT!! OMFG!! I win? Yeah I think so.. Wait. Why am I talking to myself.. Aww not again.. My doctor warned me about this.. D:

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Coldplay really big in Japan? They're tall guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happen to the guy who stole the TV. He runs away as he fears the person that stoled his/her TV reports him/her to the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your friend: i did ur mom you: jokes on u my moms gross friend:.....

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What is E.T. short For? So he can fit on ship

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops