Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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Yo mama so stupid, she scored poorly on her SAT exams in high school. She was unable to recieve a college education. She now works as a full time waitress at a small diner. She earns minimum wage and is still getting nowhere on her search for a better job.

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I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then I got stabbed.

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Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calender? They each got six months.

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Q: A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? A:They both take turns, because they are driving across the country and it would be hard for one of them to drive the entire way.

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What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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What is the first thing you should do when a person is choking? Make sure the person is choking How can you tell if a person is choking? If he's going like this: aaghh gaghhg agghhh gaghhhhh ghghaghghgh

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

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why'd the chicken cross the road It didn't, it was safely placed inside a chook house

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How do you kill Lady Gaga? There is no point in trying, she is too heavily guarded.

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There once was a man from Madrass Whose balls were made out of brass This was incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassing for him. It also affected his sexual potency and rendered him infertile, Which drastically affected his ability to enter and sustain relationships with women.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

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a man paints himself yello shrinks himself and walks into a baber shop then he relizes that the sizers are yello so he gets cut up into shreds and dies. THE END!

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Two Jews are sitting in a large oven. They realize it is a dangerous place to be and get out of the oven.

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What's worse than a bag of dead babies? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Jews.

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What's worse than finding The Holocaust in your apple? Most things, because that's impossible.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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