Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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roses are red violet is blue why rik go to the hospital ? cause he eat glue.

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Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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Ducks smell too dog like animal farms riverside Chinese tofu hat hairy and eat beanie.

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why am I a hobo? because I lost my job.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ed. Ed who? Ed Begley Jr.

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If it looks like grass, smells like grass, and tastes like grass... Then you were honestly misled when ordering that salad.

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Why was the black man driving a plane? because he was a pilot, you racist.

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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What do you get when two black men walk into a bar? A few salesmen celebrating their recent pay raise.

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what did the white rapper say to the black rapper? i like your work. to which the which the black rapper replied, thanks.

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Whet doesn't kill you, probably will next time.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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Knock knock. Come right on in.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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