What is BIG, STIFF, AND FULL OF SEMEN!!!? A SUBMARINE!!!!!!!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They scolded her and sent her to her room.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Ask me what my favorite color is. What's you favorite color? Blue.

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Artists have unique minds and can rotate shapes within their mind. I'm going to masterbate.

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whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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The awkward moment when you are reading these jokes and either it's not funny or you don't get it...

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What is stupid and looks like you? You.

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When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Flawed genetics? I am just sad, but then again I am a crybaby, mind sharing a bit more with me? I mean you wont call me wont you? You are not keeping me a secret from anyone right?

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Q: Why didn't johnny get any Christmas presents? A: Because he died in a house fire 3 years ago.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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why did the man stay home on a monday? He was dead.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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You are joking right?

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I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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