What is covered in red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

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A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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what do u call a dumbass phone cia cias phone

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Sometimes while i am play my music loudly in my apartment my neighbor knocks on the wall He is slowly losing his grip on reality and believes the wall is a door

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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