My mother's star sign was Cancer. Ironic how she died really. She was attacked by a giant crab.

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all these jokes are horrible now

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with an anteater? An animal unlikely to survive beyond infancy.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

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Haiku's are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigorator

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A panda walks into a bar, orders some bamboo shoots, and bamboo leaves, and eats them

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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Whats a lion in Antartica? . Dead

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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What did the dog say to the astro turf? SHUT UP!! I don't want to here your excuses, put the dishes away when you're done with them or so help me! You see the dog had been abused as a puppy and as a result he was always a bit off.

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What did The Black man have for breakfast? Bran Flakes.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands, when they first came out. Well, I say bought. I actually stole it from a short, fat ginger kid.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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Why Did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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