Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

Whats black and blue and red all over? A housewife that was recently abused by her alcoholic wife. (from will c. and jack f.)

What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

Your mommas so stupid she put a quarter into a parking meter and waited for a gumball to drop out.

Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

One man asked another man what his favorite sport was. The man replied: " My favorite sport is golf." "Golf requires no physical strength, therefore I do not count it as a sport." Said the man who asked the question.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

Roses are red, Violets are too. You're bleeding out, I stabbed you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

two peanuts were walking down the street one was assualted

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

What do you call a Caucasian in Russia? Russian.

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. He did kill Hitler.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? dinner

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

Q: What do janitors and nuns have in common? A: They can't fly.

Knock Knock Who's There The police, your under arrest.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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