What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

feminism

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the chicken cross the road?he just got up and walked to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many pancakes can you fit into a gopher hole? Red - because ice cream doesn't have any bones.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the fish say after it's head was cut off? Nothing, it was a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you get when you come across a duck and a moose? Nothing...What do you think you deserve a prize or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How did the boy fall off the swing? He got hit by a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops