Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Who will win in a fight Chuck Norris or Chuck Norris? I don't even know who he is -Lets go METS!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Q. Why did the teacher trip and fall? A. Because his left foot was gnawed off by a camel, and he often finds it difficult to walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats more embarissing rhan being raped by a squirel? Being a 40 year old virgin working at mcdonalds

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what ddo you call someone that has a small dick benjamin

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock,Knock Who's there? The Police, Your under arrest for urinating on a toliet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops