One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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Why did the girl fall from the tree? Gravity.

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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Weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee weegee

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deez nuts

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

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Many people believe that dogs are mammals. They're right

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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Do they censor Ass? TESTING TESTING ASS ASS ASS

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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What is the difference between a mallard with a cold and you? One is a sick duck I forget how this ends, but your mother is a whore.

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Why didn't the kid return home after school? He was having a sleep-over with a bunch of his friends. Who all died from a robbery.

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What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time

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what did the leprosy survivor get for christmas a amputation

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What's small, furry and looks like a mouse? Most probably a mouse but given the large number of mammals with similar appearances to a mouse it could easily be a shrew, vole or even a rat if you don't know your rodents very well.

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What did the one midget say to the other midget? We r both small

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What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops