Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Sir, do you know what time it is? Yes, it is 5:15 PM

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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A black man, a jew, a hispanic, and an asian are the only survivors of a plane crash, and end up on a deserted island, what do they do? Die.

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What do you call someone trying to be funny? An anti-comedian.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What do you call a spider with no legs? A spider.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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there are two wales chilling at a bar one looks at the other and does a wale call for 2 minutes and the other looks back and say "dude your drunk we gotta go!"

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Don't worry about giving me your phone number, I'll just follow you home later.

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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what in the world is smarter than the world's smartest man? Nothing he is the smartest man.

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GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT i farted. : l

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What’s worse than taking a bite out of your apple and finding a worm? Taking a bite out of your apple and finding half a worm.

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What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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Why is my son so unhappy? Because I beat his mother violently in front of him

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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