Its a bird!! Its a plane!! No, its a bird.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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What can't catch or throw? A Quadriplegic

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What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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How did the soup lose his job? He got fired.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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a black man walks out of popeyes

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender say, "Sorry, we don't serve your kind here." The man continues to order a drink when he realises the comment was directed at the elephant standind behind him.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Shut up, I already got that before you said it, typed it, whatever I do not give a fuck, I want the last word because, reasons of millions. I love you Nero come visit me sometime, wait ill come visit you, yes yes, but now shut up, I want the last word, because I made myself your bitch! You know its not what I mean the other way but then around again, I think, you are my I made myself your bitch, no wait, keep reading, you are, my bitch master..., pretty please let me have the last word? Never fucking mind! Have the last word, I surrender, I totally surrender I want my nose back XD.

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Okay lord and master, now get lost, I am trough with you, I have other things to get done, XD My nose is so itchy XD

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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When did the laughter finally die? When you started this joke.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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How does a chubby baby eat his chili In a very chubby way with his hands smearing it all over is face

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A vulture gets on a transatlantic flight with a dead animal in each claw. The flight attendant stops him, and says "I'm sorry, sir, only one piece of carrion per passenger allowed"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's And add extra pepperoni

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Whats the difference between a dog and a bird? They both fly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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