My grandmother just called to tell me she was dying................. to have sex with me.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

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What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

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what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

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Knock knock. USE THE DOORBELL!

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What city likes baseball the most? New York

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

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Q: What's worse than getting a divorce? A: I don't know, i'm still married.

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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What did Al gore say after he sold his TV Station to Arab Oil Money? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. CHA-CHING!

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

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Q: Why do Indians smell? A: Cause they have noses? Racist.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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A mexican, an Aisian, and a black guy are fighting in a dumpster. Who wins? The Mexican, why? Home court advantage!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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