Why did Billy start crying? Because he was abandoned at a young age- and was bullied since childhood in the orphanage.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

the sky is green no it is not

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What would you call the Flinstones if they were black? Niggas

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

thumb_up thumb_down +9

National security?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The motto of those who live in the Bible Belt; "The Bible Belt: Where being obese is 'Genetic' but being homosexual is a 'lifestyle choice'."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you shock thomas eddison? Attatch his kite to his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What's worse than your parents dying in a car crash? A: You were in the backseat and saw your mother plead your father to slit her throat witht he broken glass because her legs were brushed and a windshield wiper was shoved in her kidney. As you stared on in pure horror, your father did as she asked with much contemplation. An ambulance arrives moments later. In the hospital, you tell your dad that you hate him for killing mom. You run away and he dies overnight due to heart failure. Yo suffered paralysis and now and are confined to a wheelchair for the rest of your natural life and are sent away to a born-again foster care home where you are never adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Okay so there was a turtle, a pig, and a donkey. They were out fishing when suddenly they spot a man in boat. The man said he hasn't eaten in 5 days and he is very hungry. He looked at the turtle and said "no, too much shell." The turtle was happy and left. He looked at the pig and said "no, too much fat." The pig ran away and was very happy. He looked at the donkey and said "I think I'll have donkey today." The donkey ran away because he was scared. The man died from hunger.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How did the baby survive the car accident? He didn't. He was killed on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Hold on Im pooping.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops