How do you help someone stop drowning You take your foot off the back their head.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

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What does the average fishermen catch Fish

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What would you call the jetsons if they were black? Niggers

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

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So my teacher came upto me, and says "At the end of this ruler is a idiot" so I said "Which end?" I got detention.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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Despite their parents wishes, two teenagers under the age of 18 tried multiplying. Their answer was 27.

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yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

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what is sadder than lost in a ps4 game ? Your mom's funeral, she died in a horrible accident yesterday

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What is your name? My name is Jeff

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What's the thing that freaks guys out the most? When you're about to have sex with a girl and it turns out she had a penis and it's bigger than yours

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A rabbi and a priest walk into a bar. The rabbi says "ow my head"

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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Is your refrigerator running? I heard there was a power outage in your area.

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YOU

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Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops