Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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Dear Jim, I have a problem with my Hymen... "Jim'll fix it for you..."

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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What do you call a red ballon? It depends on its color duh!

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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What's black and white and red all over? A seriously infected scab.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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Whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Jay-z

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Q:If quizes are, "guizicles," then what are tests? A:Who calls quizes, "quizicles?"

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic and i am too

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ha ha, I can talk and you can't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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