Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If a man is called a manly man, what is a dude called? A dudely dude.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is sally sad her parents abuse her daily

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you take a shit?, by taking it to go.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the baby flying? Because it's face was stapled to the propeller of a helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there once was a black man who played basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +8

My friend on xbox told me about this cool clan. I went to join but I didn't like to wear the white robes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I did it. the Bulls fan Took a few hours on Microsoft word. then I copy and pasted it on this!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You're so sweet I have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Tony Romo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops