3 blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The 1 blonde says they're deer tracks. The 2 blonde says they're elk tracks. The 3 blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

What does a squirrel get when it rains? It gets wet.

What does an elephant and a grape have in common? One of them is purple.

Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur? A: Mega-saur-ass

Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go play on our bikes.

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

Jake snow steals ideas he doesn't make them up

What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

Mike: Hey Dave knock knock Dave: Come in!

What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He orders a drink successfully, pays, and leaves. Three weeks later he dies tragically.

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

What do you call two Muslims flying an airplane? Pilots

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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