What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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Why dose my mom have a penis? She is a man

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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How do you rape someone? No, its a question. I don't know the best way to go about this.

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Twelve men walk into a bar, and get stuck in the door because it's far too small for all of them to walk through at the same time.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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What did God say when he made his first black guy? Oh no I burned one! :)

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What is the difference between a duck? A motorcycle because vests don't have sleeves.

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A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Three guys went hunting on a rainy day. The first guy slipped.

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

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What's the difference between communism and race mixing? Zey come for our blood, but drown in zeir ovn!!!!!

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? Because it was summer and the grass had extensive growth, so much so, that it proceeded to spread to his neighbors yard. His neighbor then called HOA, and thus, the unruly grass was taken care of.

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what’s worse than 12 dead babies in one trash can? one dead baby in 12 trash cans

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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yo mama's so fat, yo mama's so ugly; your mothers breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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