A man walked into a bar....he's OK.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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Bugsys back back back again with a brand new track cumming on megs back back back with a new boxing cap cap cap, stealing millions from banks having a wank coz hes a lanky cockney mong

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How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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why can't johnny compete in the track race? because he has no feet.

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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What did the us reporter say? nothing as his head was in a isis members bin

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Once a upon a time there were three kittens that die, the end :D

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Women are like fish. It's hard to tell when they are crying underwater.

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What is the french word for penis? I cannot say because I do not possess an adequate knowledge of the language.

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What's big, black, and just knocked an 8 year old girl off of her bike? The refrigerator I just threw at her. (not all are white you know)

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You walk by a boy and see he is playing with poop. You ask the boy what are you doing? He says I'm building a office. You ask him why he says "because I don't have shit to make a building"

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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Why did the elephant paint his toenails orange? Because he wanted to hide in the pumpkin patch

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what bounces and is blue all over? a blue bouncy ball

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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