What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

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Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

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what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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were at work systems r down

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Sara had no arms! Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sara!

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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Why is there no gambling in Africa? Because there's no money in Africa.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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If i open this door you can go trough it

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So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

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A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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karn chevalier

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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a lightbulb One because lawyers are usually well educated and know how to screw in a lightbulb

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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