A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him what he would like. The man says,"I'm feeling light today so I'll just have some H2O." The man's friend says,"I'm feeling the same. I'll have some H2O, too." The second man died.

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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what did the white guy say to the black guy? nothing because hes racist and hates blacks people

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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A baby seal walks into a club. :|

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Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: How the heck would I know? I don't Sally.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

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Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

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Q. How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? A. Who knows? It's dark!

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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why did the girl fall off the swing..? because she became unbalanced and the force of gravity extended on her was too great to prevent the fall

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Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? Pretty much anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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