A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer murdered his family

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What do Kurt Cobain and a whale have in common? Both have holes in the back of their heads

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Whats Barack Obama's favorite number ? 7

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A: Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? B: Not really. This is an interesting fact. Any other facts you have? A: yes ("A" was lying)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Hello there. I am Elder Young and I with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. What would you say if someone were to offer you peace and happiness through all of eternity?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

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A priest, a rabbi and a mullah walk into a bar. The bartender looks at the three, laughs and says "Please leave now, God is dead"

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how many people does it take to change a light bulb....... none..................its stilll bright

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What do you get when you cross a shark and a squid Nothing thats impossible

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

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Your mom is so ugly that she often finds it difficult attracting members of the opposite sex.

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It's all shits and giggles until someone giggles and shits.

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i was born with 99 medical problems, and the difficulty to count till 100.

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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I was very thirsty so I decided to go get some soda.Upon reaching the soda store I discovered a very long line. I decided to leave the line and instead get some milk, unfortunately once again there was a long line at the milk store. Discouraged by still thirsty I decided to try to luck at the punch store. There was a long line there also.

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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What is white, red, and all in your girlfriend? red and white blood cells

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Umm... Why would it not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops