Women deserve equal rights.

A black man walks into a bar and a white man says "we don't allow coloured men in here". the black man sighs and walks out, wondering what he ever did wrong, and makes his way to the liqour store, to buy some beer to drown his sorrows over his mothers death. On the way, a racist white man shoots and kills him. Then, at his funeral, someone makes the joke "Wow, how ironic. The black guy was the victim.."

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

Why were the parents sad? Because their son had a frog stapled to his face and was trying to eat his ice cream on a swing, but he had no arms so he dropped his ice cream into the street and he chased after his ice cream and got hit by a bus

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They got in a crash and died.

My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

John: Knock knock Jack: Who's there? John: Whale Jack: I don't know a Whale, go away. John violently rips off Jack's cock in becaus he's sick of his shit.

You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

Why did Dean Jones talk to his car? Because it was Herbie the love bug , a car possessed by a demon that had voice recognition capabilities and thus could understand him

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

knock knock whos there boo boo who? stop crying its only me! its not you, my mom has cancer, my dad was killed in a car accident, my pregnant wife has been murdered, and my uncle touches me.

Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was dead. Why'd the other monkey fall out of the tree? Cus he was stapled to the dead monkey!

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

Jerry Rice is walking down the streets of San Francisco when all of a sudden he hears sirens coming from the next street down. He hurries down the road to see what's happening and sees a huge fire engulfing a 10 story building. And on the top floor, a lady is leaning out the window shouting to the firemen below. FIREMAN: Come on, lady, jump. We have the tarp here, we'll be able to catch you. LADY: No....I can't. My baby, my baby is up here. FIREMAN: Throw the baby down, we'll catch him. LADY: No, you'll miss. I can't leave my baby. Jerry sees this and steps forward. "Hey, I think I can help. Let me have the bullhorn." JERRY: Hey lady, I'm Jerry Rice, the wide receiver for the San Francisco 49er's. I'm the best wide receiver in the game, throw your baby down and I'll catch him, this is what I do for a living. Being a 49er fan herself, the lady recognizes Jerry and throws her baby down to him. Just as she throws it though, a huge gust of wind comes and takes the baby and starts to blow him off course. Jerry sees this and takes off after the baby. He hurdles the line closing off the area, fights through the crowd, dodges a couple of fire fighters, jumps over the car, and dives forward, just making a fingertip catch of the baby. The crowd around him goes wild and starts cheering his amazing catch. So Jerry jumps to his feet, raises his finger into the air, does a two step and then spikes the baby. If you have any dead baby jokes that are not here, I want to hear from you. Email me your dead baby jokes at skitzopathik@hotmail.com and I'll add them to this page.

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas ? A treadmill

Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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