knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

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What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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-Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? -She had no arms. -Knock, knock. Who's there? -Not Sally.

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How do you get children to behave? Chop them up.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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why did the bear cross the road? to get cream cheese.

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What did Hitler say to the Jewish boy? Nothing, Hitler died many years ago...

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I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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I believe if Floyd Mayweather fought Muhammad Ali I believe it would be a close fight but Floyd would win. Because Ali has Parkinson's

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It's gone. It's all gone. There's nothing left.

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What's worse than falling in the mud whilst wearing a suit? Burying your parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can walk wherever the hell they want. Leave them alone.

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Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops