A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Roses are chickens violets are pizza this poem makes no sense, Refridgerator

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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Why to lawyers wear neckties? It's part of the uniform.

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Why did the teacher give the little boy a golden star? He was a Jew and it was in Germany during the 1940's

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A man walks into a restaurant and asks a waiter, "Do you serve crabs here?" The waiter says, "Certainly! In fact, stuffed crab is today's special."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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What's worse than a fly in your soup? Cancer.

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do you like hardcore music? ya i love brokencyde

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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Why did the black man cross the road? To get to the barber shop, which was located on the other side of the road. He then walked to the crosswalk, patiently waited, then crossed when the little person lit up.

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What's worse than seven babies in a trashcan? Not much.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Kid 1: Mama why is my name Daisy? Mama: Because when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head! Kid 2: Mama why is my name Rose? Mama: Becuase it was a nice name.

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A carpenter walks into a bar. After ordering some wine he tells the bartender that one of his 12 friends will betray him. He also says that once he was captured, the government will execute him on a wooden cross for everyone to see. The bartender in disbelief says to the man "You gotta be kiddin' me, do you think you're Jesus or something?" The man throws his glass of wine to the floor, grabs the bartender by his collar, and says "Hey man, I ordered red wine, not white wine you bastard!" After a few minutes, a group of nurses escort the insane loon back to the mental clinic. The bartender never saw the man again and proceeds to sweep that mess the psycho left on the floor.

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golf is so gay i mean look at what they name the different clubs 3 wood 4 wood 5 wood 6 wood just give it a beat and you got a catchy song

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Did you fall on your head when you were a baby Oh, I very sorry.

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Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He saw a bottle of Faygo on the other side.

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3 brothers Mohammed, Ahmed and Saahad were on the 09:25 flight from Tehran to New York. They each only carried a rucksack each and a one way ticket. They are Syrian refugees and their parents are dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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