A man sits on the toilet to take a shit And is surprised to find the next door neighbours dog in the toilet.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Sixty... eight

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God is real.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What did the raped girl say to the doctor? Nothing she was dead on arrival.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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Your mama's so fat.... Her cerial bowl came with a lifeguard

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His mother was a prostitute.

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Im 8 years old, sometimes I get sick, and I take medicine and it makes me feel better. My daughter has cancer.

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im not black, im Joseph Kony

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He was among thousands of men who were also from Nantucket.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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what kind of mexicans are NOT in the U.S. -legal

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How Does My cat have Sex? With Me.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

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roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and wasting you money

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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women's rights

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops