A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: What did the forgetful person say to the other? A:

thumb_up thumb_down +8

pudding

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is that a banana in your pocket, or do you just have an erection?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Aids, Black People, Cancer, Death, Retarded, Drunk, Sex, Black People, Holocaust, Blackies, White People, BLACK

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

thumb_up thumb_down +8

WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does a sailboad and a walrus have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a blue horse with two legs and five eyes? A blue horse with two legs and five eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

thumb_up thumb_down +8

your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There is a famous joke, "What's black and white and re(a)d all over? A newspaper!" However, this is not featured on this website. Why? Because this is anti-joke.com, not joke.com - you moron

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mama is so fat that when she stepped on the scale she exclaimed "wow, i'm overweight" she then proceeded to eat a cupcake to mask her pain.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops