A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

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What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't a Ferrari in my garage

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A- Why did the chicken cross the road? B- I honestly do not care.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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how do you find will smith in the snow? look for his teeth

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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What is brown and sticky? A lot of things are brown and sticky

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Hey

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Muslim? Their religion.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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What did the black guy say when after he jumped in the pool? Wow, its kinda chilly.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops