What did the blade of grass say to the other blade of grass? Nothing, as grass does not have the capability of speaking and does not have a brain, all it has is a complex life system where it feeds off water. If it were to say anything though, it would say, "Hey! We're both blades of grass!"

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go home and beat his wife

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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teacher:humpty dumpty sat on a wall.... me: wait, why was he up there ms.park? teacher: well hes never been the same since vietnam, his wife divorced him and now hes a raging alcoholic.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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roses r red violets r blue u jumped in the air and saw a planet to

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What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

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what didn't Jon go to the movies? He tripped and broke his neck and cant look up

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A gay man named pat played on a gay website with a child named Charlie

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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A amazing I idiots D discover S sex

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's annoying and wears glasses? The kid next to you

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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