Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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IKR! and I hear rondo and wade were in a fight too!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who cares?

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I used to have a shirt just like yours, except it was green. And it was a bicycle.

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Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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How do you get a Mexicans attention? By calling him by his name.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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What did the cat say when someone pointed out that cats can't talk? Meow.

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How do you wake up Lady GaGa you set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

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A horse trots into a bar. He is left with a bump on his head.

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Q: why did the dog fall down the stairs? A: Because I pushed him down.

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There was a scientist that was doing a social experiment with mothers and their children. The name of first kid was named candy because it was her mothers favourite thing. The second kid name was rose because it was her mothers Favourite thing. The last mother knew what was happening and said to her son "Come on Dick".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops