What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why didn't the man give a location of the murderer? He was murdered

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A Redhead, a Blonde, and a Brunette are all standing on top of a cliff in Ireland. They took a few pictures, and all in all it was a lovely vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q:Why did the little girl jump in the pool and drown? A:because she didn't know how to swim

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A blind man walks into a library.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and doesn't work? Half of Detroit.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whats worse than a bee sting, two bee stings, whats worse than two bee stings, the holocaust, whats worse than the holocaust, tree bee stings...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Rick Perry and a toaster? One is a republican presidential candidate, while the other is an electrical appliance.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl cry? i took her happy meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 6 feet under the ground? Doug What do you call a guy with no arms and legs buried 3 feet under the ground? Douglas

thumb_up thumb_down +10

wenis

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little boy refuse to kiss his grandmother? He was afraid she would slip him some tongue.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops