Why does Santa Claus drink so much hot Cocoa? Because Mrs. Claus got tired of his constant drunkenness and won't allow beer in the house in the house anymore.

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What did the bi-polar girl do when she found our her ex-boyfriend was living with another woman? Nothing; she was happy for their new relationship and realized life moves on, in addition to taking the daily appropriate amount of medication prescribed by her doctor.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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How many trees does it take to screw in a light bulb? Trees are incapable of screwing light bulbs

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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i like my rose red and my diamonds blue your screamin mercy so did ur mom but i killed her to

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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There was a man with a job and kids. One day he came home from his job and went to sleep. He never woke up because it turns out he had a heart attack.

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Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Why was Timmy crying when he got home? His family was dead in a pile with a pitchfork going through each of their bodies

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Why is it good to date twenty eight year olds? Because there is twenty of them.

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how do you piss off a dyslexic? give him a crossword puzzle

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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your mama's so fat... that's it

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A Jew, black person, and Mexican jump out of a plane, which one falls first? Who cares they all died

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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I got 99 problems but the ability to count ain't one

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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You might be a redneck if you hate your father and you live in a trailer

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All your facts check out, so I sent a little search team to find someone selling us out, it turns that they are after the leader of "The order" and "The king`s throne", so unless you got some small sub-department going on, point zero is in danger, ill explain everything once this is over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops