A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

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Why was the little girl crying Someone therew a dump truck at her

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why is kool-aid so sweet? Because it contains sugar

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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what did the dog say to the cat nothing because dogs can`t talk and if they could talk the cat wouldn`t understand him because cats can`t talk

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Q:How do you kill Chuck Norris ? A:You don't , He kills you first.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Hey Bill, did you know we have a black guy in our family tree? Really? Yeah, he's still hanging there

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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mmm i love marble bumhole

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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Why did Suzie die? She ate too many fried twinkies.

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What do you call a black person that flies a plane? A pilot you racist BITCH! Its ok a niggah gots altititude.

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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To mama's so fat when she went to Dairy Queen she Ordered a blizzard.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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