What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting owl Interrupting owl- HOOOOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Just happy you are back Nero, I have no idea what a proxy is but I am at my mum`s place, is everything alright between us now?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Gorillas are black, Roses are red, Were out of milk, GET THE F**K OUT!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock Dave's not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock knock come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Quinn yell at his group project partner? Because he hated him.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the traffic light say to the car? dont look at me am changing.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's long hard and full of seman. A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a black Englishmen? Rodger

thumb_up thumb_down +25

why did kermit cry?Ms.Piggy knocked him out on Christmas and he slept through the party and all of the presents

thumb_up thumb_down +25

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

the lemon was sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He was at Victoria's Secret and he wasn't watching where he was going.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo. Moral: Cuckoo!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops