What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

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Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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what you say to the kid that just hit puberty? your a young man

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What does a tomato and a human have in common? They both spray red liquid when stabbed repeatedly

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did the sailor fall off the boat? Because vampires arent real.

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Question: why did the pilot crash the plane? Answer: because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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So, a man walks into a bar. His alcoholic habits are slowly tearing apart his marriage.

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What's funny about cheese? Nothing.

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i Have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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