What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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Mike and Richard were walking down the street together Richard left because of Mike's garlic breath

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why did the little girl fall off the swing she had no arms

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Three examples of how santa is gay 1) he says HO HO HO 2) he sneaks into your house at night from going down the chimney 3) he knows when u r sleeping and he knows when u r awake BONUS............. Better not pout, you better not cry, better watch out im telling u why.........SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO TOWN

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Whats the difference between a bottle of coke and a black man stuck in a phone booth? one of them is comparing himself to a bottle of coke, the other is a bottle of pepsi

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Whats the difference between a Philadelphia Flyers fan and a pedophile? What they are.

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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good pick up line hey baby have u seen my heart cuz i think you stole it

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

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a lazy boy sleeps 23/24 hours. what does he do in the remaining hour ? he takes a nap

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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