Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

A horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "why the long face" Turns out the horse's family died that evening.

What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

A Priest and a Rabbi find a very young lost child. They both agree that their religions obligate them to find the child shelter.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

Hey I just met you. And this is crazy. So get in my van. Cause I have candy.

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Fish don't run.

Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

My Nan, that is all.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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