Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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Why did t chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock, knock. Who's there? The chicken

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Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

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How many babies could a cannibal eat? 132/267 of a baby

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Why didn't Cheryl's mother recognize her when she was wearing a blue shirt and jeans? Because Cheryl's mother has Alzheimer's.

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

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Why did god create anti-jokes? He didn't.

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They say "You are what you eat." In that case, I'm a pussy.

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What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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A horse goes to the mall and when he is in the checkout line there is a man at the cash register the man at the cash register says "Why the long face?" and the horse replies "hey buddy, watch it!!!!!!!"

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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What do you call a calculator without a brain? A calculator.

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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