How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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How do you discover a gay snowman? If the carrot is in the ass.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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what do call a large massacre of 1000000 people? a tragedy

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Why can't the T-Rex give high fives? Because they are extinct.

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Tony Romo

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how do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face

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How do you tick off a Doctor? You cut off his right thumb.

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As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? I dont know lets go play on our bikes.

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When is a car not a car? When it's scrapped and turned into license plates.

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A man is driving down the highway. He falls asleep at the wheel due to his case of narcolepsy, and dies in a fiery car crash.

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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bite me

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What's worst then a road kill? Multiple road kils.

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what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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