This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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Why did Bob fall off a cliff? He had an epileptic episode.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane ? - a pilot.

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Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

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What's worse than a holocaust? two holocausts.

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what did jacob say to coach a joke

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what's the difference between a virginia, and steve keen? a virginia is,nt a knob

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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What did the duck say? Nothing. Everyone knows that ducks can't talk.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What do you call a black person that plays golf? Jack, his name is Jack.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

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what did joe eat for breakfast? he didn't eat, joe is schizophrenic steve's best friend

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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