What do you call a 2 storied house ? A dolphin! :D

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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What's the difference between a park bench and a hobo? The park bench can support a family

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Whats red and goes round and round? A baby in the garbage disposal

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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I Never apologize, I'm sorry, that's just me

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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How do you stop a friendly bear from bouncing up and down on your front lawn? Shoot it in the neck.

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How did the little boy get out of the forest? -He didnt, he was devoured by a pack of wovles.

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Hook a finger from each hand in your mouth, now pull so your lips are tight and try to say "I was born on a pirate ship" I'm sorry, I can hardly understand you.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why did Schrödinger's Cat cross the road? It didn't

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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2 guys walk into a bar the third one ducked then proceeded homeward where he murdered his whole family by ax

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

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What do an elephant, and a banana have in common? Neither one is an ambulance.

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There was once a man who lived in a box.

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Q: What do a hockey coach and a bar stool have in common? A: because seven ATE nine

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. One rainy night an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them out for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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