A muslim and a jew walk into a bar. The muslim proceeds to detonate the bomb he had strapped to his chest, killing himself and dozens of bar patrons.

what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

Why did the gay guy walk into a straight bar To find the better looking guys

What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

A man walks into a bar and is slowly tearing his life apart. maybe because he is drinking poisonous acid instead of beer

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

Why didn't the boy eat his vegetables? he was dead

What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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