Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the deaf-blind kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? Because she had no arms. Knock, Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does Santa give to a naughty child who wants coal for Christmas? Nothing, Santa doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What day comes after Friday? Saturday, and Sunday comes afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

– Hello. Is this a laundry? – Yes, it is a laundry.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is 13 the most hated number? 13 is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you keep a woman from driving your car? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does these 3 words all have in common? terrifiant, hrollvekjandi, Przera?aj?ce They all mean the same thing describing Ian! CREEPY

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy's house get destroyed? It was bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are read violets are blue i ate a fetus now you die to

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldnt dylan make it to mike's birthday party? He was killed instantly in a car crash on the way there.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How can you ruin someone's day? Tell them their mother has cancer. No really, I found out my mom has cancer a week ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man gets a new job working for his boss. The boss gives him more and more work and less pay. The man finely gets fed up, beats his boss in a fight, quits his job, and starts his own business. Historians later speculated that the man's life would serve as a perfect national allegory for the USA.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Yo momma is so old that she will be moved to a nursing home next week.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops