How can you tell if a duck is under your bed? Look under your bed

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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- why did the chicken cross the road? why? - to get to your house. - knock knock. who's there? - the chicken.

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How does a black man get down the stairs? He walks.

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What did the boy say to the girl? I like you hi.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Why did the man drown in the bath? He was a quadriplegic and couldn't support himself above the water.

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack because of her poor eating habits.

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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Windows are likes prostitutes. You can have two in the front and two in the back!

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Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

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Why did Stephen Hawking ask for pizza? Because he was hungry.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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Yo momma's so poor, she needs to work 2 jobs to support her family.

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no

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Why can't Stuart post a joke? Because he is using a giant iphone

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Q: What's grey and can't climb trees A: A car park

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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Q: What did hitler say to his generals? a: In a circumstance as the one we have found ourselves in. Eliminating our most threatening of enemies would be very logical. Unless they were of the superior race therefore, it may be frowned apon by our low ranked comrades. Causing another assasionation attempt on myself. So in conclusion I believe eliminating a rich and intelligent race far more superior than our own, would be the best way to go. So collect the Jews of Warsaw and we might have a chance.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting constantly tortured for hours non-stop by getting your eyebrows plucked out one by one and getting your teeth pulled out and getting your arms cut open by a razor and getting your nose twisted off and getting your nipples ripped off by a pair of pliers and getting your toenails scraped off by a knife and getting a needle shoved into your eyes and getting a sword stuffed up your arse and getting your penis split in two like a hotdog and getting your balls smashed up by a sledgehammer so the sperm inside goes everywhere. I think that would be worse than dropping a dollar down the drain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops