Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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My grandma's star sign was cancer, and it was really ironic how she died, actually... She was attacked by a giant crab.

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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How many skilled union workers does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What is furry, red, and flat? Road kill.

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what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

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how do u make a snooker table laugh? TICKLE ITS BALLS HAHA

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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What's worse than stepping on a nail? stepping on the nail and falling on more nails face first.

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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A Rabbi walks into a bar. He does not order any alcoholic beverages, because Orthodox Jews aren't allowed to consume alcohol except for certain times and religious customs.

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Why did it take the rabbit so long to enter the rabbithole? Because he was hit by a truck and lost a lot of blood.

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What succeeds most of the time? The population of a field with grass.

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I just found my mum has Alzheimer's, I hope it isn't contagious cause my mum has it too

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Tulips are brown, I need to stop working on my flower garden after fisting a cows butthole.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Jack. Honey, Jacks here, will you get the door?

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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Why did the man die? He had a terrible form of flesh-eating bacteria and he suffered a lot of pain.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. FBI who? The FBI. We have your house surrounded. Pervert.

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what do you get if you cross a motorway with a wheel barrow? Arrested as a wheelbarrow is not a motorised vehicle, or even a vehicle at all and therefore it is an offence to cross the motorway with it, actually it is probably an offence to cross a motorway with anything now that I come to think of it

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Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

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What's worse than waking up with a clown in your bed? Waking up with a dead clown in your bed.

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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