how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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Q: Why'd the guy have to fart? A: There was a buildup of methane gas in his colon.

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good morning. good day. good night. good to see you santa

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i woke up in the middle of the night and my entire bed was wet... know what i did? i layed a towel down and went back to sleep

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Hey do you have a suitcase? Why? I need one.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead......

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Whats slower than molasses? Slightly thicker molasses.

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A Jew walks into a wall with a boner. He breaks his nose.

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Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

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what's worse than both your parents dying? finding out that they were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt and they left you nothing, including the house, oh and you have to be out by the end of the week, the bank is ready to re-possess the house, especially since your parents haven't paid the mortgage for 8 months. oh, by the way, happy birthday! written by KA

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A man walks into a bar. As he walks in, numerous people turn their heads in awe. Is it... it can't be. It's Paul McCartney, the famous musician! "Oh - I'm not Paul McCartney". The man then said. "I just look a lot like him. Sorry." "Awww. That's a shame." said John Lennon, disappointed.

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What is worst than a black guy hanging on a tree. A burnt black guy hanging on a tree

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and an erection? I dont have a Ferrari!!

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he was a crybaby

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I've got some good news an some bad news. The good new is that you just won 10 million dollars! The bad news is I'm just kidding.

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What sucks more than being married? Being shot in both kneecaps

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Why did little Sally fall off the swing? Because Sally has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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what do all elephants have in common? they are all monkeys

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What's sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going over a cliff? The incident happened to substantiate stereotypes and condone racism.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops