What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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What is the difference between a painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to put up a painting

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Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says 'who the f*ck let a horse in here, get it out now'.

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why did javonne choose club getaway madonna wanted to foster

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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What does Mitt Romney approve of flip flops? They feel good on his feet.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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what happened when spongebob and Patrick were mean to sandy? she made a hurricane

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What do you get when you hit a kid with a hockeystick? arrested.

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Q. What do you call a dog thats deaf? A. A horribly abused domesticated animal that needs a kinder owner.

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 beat the crap out of 8.

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what did the girl say after her boyfriend proposed? she said no because they've still got a lot of stuff to deal with before they even consider getting married and he seriously needs to get a job and dump his other girlfriend.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why was the black kid in the AP Calculus classroom? Because he was a very driven student, who studied hard so that he could attend a good University and build a good life for himself and his family.

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I dig, you dig, we dig, they dig, he digs, she digs, everybody digs. Guys, it's not a very profound poem, but it's deep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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