Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead of getting hit by the plane because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and ever since he was 8 years old he has wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why do people make fun of Laquesha? Because she's white.

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John Cena

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How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? You can't

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What did the star say to the asteroid? Nothing, astral bodies can't talk, you dipshit.

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Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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An armadillo walks into a bar, and shouts "I hear you don't serve armadillos." "That is correct," the bartender replies.

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Two egyptian soccerclubs are playing, what's the score? Over 70 dead

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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Pineapple.

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What happened to the boy who ate a piece of his Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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