When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

God, you know after creating humanity and kinda regretting it and stuff, fell into drinking and betting. He found Sin a fellow poker player, and all was good. Until God, drinking a bit too much bet a bit too many of his creds: Son. Jesus: Yes father. God: Uh, I kinda ended up low on cash on the poker game last night and I kinda well... I am gonna be frank here, I bet you and lost. NeroMetal Not dissing the bible, just enjoying the always brighter side of life eh? ;)

k

Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

When does 1+1=3? When the condom fails.

Q: What's black and white and red all over? A: A bleeding penguin.

How did the chicken perform the bank robbery? It was crossing the road and cluelessly walked into a bank, and EVERYONE in that bank had Chickenphobia so they just GAVE him the money...

What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

What do you get when you cross a monkey and a fish? An unlikely premise upon which to base a joke

Someone offers your friend one of two things he say's "choose witch one you want" your friends asks you and you say "if i were you, i'd be ugly"

what's worse than finding an worm in your apple? Finding HALF a worm in your apple.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

Whats the difference between a monkey and a baby? Eating a baby tastes better with saltines.

What happens when two Mexicans walk up to blonde and a red head sitting in car? The Mexicans attempt to smash the windshield with crowbars because they have issues with anger. The redhead turns on the car and reverses safely.

Did you ever hear about that rich Mexican?? No. Yeah, me neither.

Cat ate a battery, did volts.

why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

Where's my baby??

Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

Why did the blond cross the road? The police officer who arrested her for shoplifting parked his car on the other side of the street.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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