A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats the difference between obama and Michael Jackson? Michael Jackson Is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why can't penguins fly? Because their wings are adapted to swim and not to fly

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the accountant die?A terrorist put a bomb under his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Black man walks into the Dentist's office, because he cares about his hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Bob: Your mama's so fat, she rolled over four quarters and made a dollar! Todd: YOur mama's so fat, here's a picture of her tied up in my basement. Todd wins the insult war.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the man say to his friend? Hello.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Did you hear the one about the dead guy? Apparently he was no longer living.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hitler walks in to pizza pizza, the manager asks how many? L

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are yellow, violets are grey, I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many juice does it take to screw in a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar He says "ow" and promptly sits down and ices the bruise he sustained

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down -2

your momma so fat, that she secretly crys every night, because she is so self concious about her weight. and has to talk to a therapist because shes bolemic and has suicidal thoughts, because she cant stand the way she looks

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's Black, White, and Red all over? A Cow in a giant blender...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

"....did he fire six shots or only five....." It doesn't really matter, considering he will die of blood loss soon

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops